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Eughuheuhegh

I wanna do so many things but I've decided to shelf a lot of those ideas. I barely got "8" ball to work and I do not have the consitution to make anything more complicated than that right now.

I keep intimidating myself out of doing the things i like because brain dumb. Even things i've done before feel daunting. (i mean, look, ive never made any more emotes beyond the original three i made in like a day.)

I dunno. I'm not very good at being patient with myself. This is the most ive ever stuck to a personal project/hobby and im not used to that.

I made a Magic "8" Ball toy! Please have a look at it.

It's my first foray into javascript. Although, I think I spent more time reworking the css for that one page than actually learning and using js lmao. The graphic for the "8" ball i made myself in a rush using a mouse. I have no idea when or if I'll update it to make it look pretty. (The shittiness is kinda funny imo)

Man, my blog page is getting unweildy. I should at least impliment the collapsible function that exists on every other page. (-n-')

I've been working on the ffxvi review and it's making itself out to be another beast of a review. If i can get it to be a fraction of what i'm hoping for, I'll be happy. (" ̄A ̄)

I've been rereading my reviews again and I've noticed my Zelda reviews are uhm, not as fun to read? The Zelda reviews tend to be some of my earlier stuff. Some of those reviews i popped out in under a minute. (I was shooketh on how little i wrote about Minish Cap.) I think I am getting better at writing the kind of reviews that i'd have fun going back to read. (This is probably why my more recent stuff about final fantasy games is so much for me to read. It helps that ff games suck a little bit. Its more fun to examine games when they fail.)

That being said, I strongly doubt I'd go back to rewrite or amend any old reviews. I've got too much new stuff I'd rather do than go back and fiddle with old reviews.

Speaking of new stuff, I've gotten back into anime! I'm a few episodes into Kakegurui and it's such a riot. There's something uniquely fun watching the biggest freaks get horny gambling away 30 million yen. This show is personally funny to me anytime i compare the show to the Yu-Gi-Oh Zero series. The more time passes the less people remember that Yu-Gi-Oh started as a gambling show where the loser straight up died lmao

I've been trying to get back into ffxii. The gameplay is that nice kind of mindless that makes it perfect for listening to podcasts, the problem is I still want to pay attention to the important cutscenes when they happen. At least I don't have to worry too much about re-learning the game. Past Zach set up the auto-battles to handle it all. Thanks, me. 😎

Its kinda hard not to indulge in self-hate and depression, y'know?

More importantly, im not sure if i should include Bravely Default in the Final Fantasy catagory or not. I probably will.

Janky code ahoy! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

As proud as I am of adding mobile and easy reader buttons, the code to do so is super jank lmao. I didn’t even add these updates to every page.

I’m starting to get a little bit of that imposter syndrome here. I’ve got nearly 30k hits on this blog, and the traffic has been pretty steady even during the 8 mo hiatus. All the compliments have been about the aesthetic, which I’m super grateful for. (Thank you everyone for stopping by! )

But like, I can't help but wonder; Does anyone actually read my reviews?

I cant help but compare myself to other websites and wonder if mine is really worth exploring. I mean, once you've seen the front page, you've seen the entire aesthetic. There's no variety. Which means the only thing I really have to offer are my reviews. There is no real way for anyone to respond to any one review by design. If I wanted to start discourse, I'd post on tumblr or AO3, and I do NOT want to do that. As fun as it is to write reviews, there's a mean, unsavoury part of me that tells me my work isn't all that impressive. That anyone only clicks for the space theme, and are disapponted that I don't have anything else.

Ultimately, this website is for me to learn a bit of code and write whatever the hell i want about video games. That was always the point, and it hasnt changed. Especially since my review style has always and continues to be a sort of "shoot from the hip" kind of vibe. I dont do any additional research beyond tracking down boxart. I've built this website for me and my reading pleasure. In that case, ive done an amazing job!

I know for sure that what I have here is worth my time because its still fun. If someone happens to read beyond the intro line and likes what i have to say, then thank you! Theres still more i want to explore, so lets see how it goes. <3

lmao

It's been about 8 months since I last looked at this website and it was after an assertion that I would be blogging more. lol. lmao.

Unexpected hiatus aside, I'm doing really well right now! I finally got my roommate from hell to move out. She was like 90% of my headaches these past few months. Now I have the space to myself AND im no longer in danger of being psychoanalyzed for asking for the living room to be cleaned. *rolls eyes* I really wish I was joking. To really illustrate how not great the situation was, I tried to gently explain that her methods of making and maintaining friends (which larely involve pity) dont really work now that we're in our late 20s/early 30s and she really suggested that maybe I dont know what im talking about. I have a day job and she had no irl firends except me. She doesnt have any friends anymore! I tried to warn her. ¯\_(σ ‸ σ)_/¯

Great news, I finally upgraded from my 15 yr old laptop! Thats literally half my life I've been using the same computer. Everything is so fast now. (;u;)

Lately I've been playing a lot of MapleLegends. I PROMISE that game has nothing to do with my absence. It's a private server based on MapleStory before the big bang changes. I've been pretty nostalgic for it lately and i think ive clocked over 200 hrs in it already. I've got several games completed that I can write reviews for, including ffxvi and totk. Looking forward to writing those~

Hello, it's been a while. I really meant it when I said I was writing reviews and want to keep updating this blog. Life happened, work happened, and two cats tried to ruin my life (more on that later).

Right now, I need to put the more ambitious changes for this blog on hold. I'm going to only post reviews while my mental and physical health recover. I'm pretty sure I have a few reviews in the pipeline. I suspect I will post one or two with this update.

So what do cats have to do with this? Well, I'm very allergic. Like, asthma attack allergic. A neighbour with two very dirty cats moved into my apt building. The cat dander was so bad it spread to my apt and I basically experienced one major asthma attack for two months straight. 0/10 I do not recommend.

I just moved into a new house in the last few days. Hopefully I can get back to doing the things I love. This project among them.

Thinking about how absolutely buck wild Death Stranding was. Its not just a good game and fun to play, its an incredibly sophisticated piece of cinematic story telling.

There used to be a vast disconnect between the visuals of a games cutscenes and the visuals of the gameplay. This visual disconnect is most notorious and well known on the playstation, but this is still a detectable quality to this day. Usually, a prerendered cutscene is marked by some loading time. Theres usually some compression artifacts that are apparent in the actual movie as well. I complained about this in ffxiii. The video compression is a serious disservice especially when the models in the prerendered movies are have so much more detail. Although higher detailed models don't occur as frequently in modern games, its another disconnect from the gameplay visuals.

These arent necessarily bad. Part of why the playstation is so notorious is bc developers wanted to take advantage of the superior quality available to them through the disc drive. Devs can highlight specific story beats in their game by giving players a more interesting visual experience. A prerendered cutscene can show details that would otherwise be impossible to render/animate in game.

Now, the visuals for in engine vs prerenders have more or less converged. its become larely unacceptable for AAA games to have prerendered cutscenes. (Or, games are expected to prerender cutscenes that are generated in the same engine as in-game.) Some games include adapting to variables that are controlled by the player to render in cutscenes. All the problems that used to occur in prerendered cutscenes are largely absent. There is no disconnect because everything is visually consistent.

What I think is more interesting is the new set of problems devs must now contend with.

Theres no guarentee a cutscene will render correctly or the same for every player. Sometimes it seems like games are more prone to bugging out during a cutscene than in ordinary play. So some devs will avoid certain animations as a workaround to better ensure their cutscenes render correctly. See enough cutscenes and eventually you can see when and where devs and animators decided to play it safe.

One major tell is if characters touch each other. Or rather, if characters avoid touching each other. Its really easy for characters to not line up properly or for one model to accidentally clip into another model. Animating the feedback of a character grabbing or pushing or holding any object is already difficult enough when its not a soft body material like fabric or flesh. Its so easy to slip into uncanny valley when its not done right. Its just way safer to not have characters interact with physical touch.

All that said, the animation in Death Stranding is incredible. The combined digital scans and mocap of the actors in that game are so polished theres a lot of instances where you may as well be watching a live-action film. Kojima productions are clearly flexing whenever they have characters grab the protagonist, and then make it a point to talk about physical touch. Most/all of the cutscenes are rendered in-engine and it still manages that level of sophistication and thats

I immediately followed up that experience with ffxv. Which looks pretty in its own right, but frankly the animation looks like dogshit by comparison. And i dont think its unfair to compare these two. Final fantasy is the flagship series of SquareEnix, a juggernaut in the game industry.

Characters in ffxv avoid touching each other to bypass the usual complications. But they also interact with each other physically from time to time, and ffxv fails to render those interactions with some regularity. Its common for character models not to line up properly. I caught characters warping into place only for that to still fail and not line up. It's clear the devs wanted to inlcude this vibe that these characters are comfortable with each other, but it exists in opposition to the limits of the technology.

I don't think its bad that some devs choose to avoid animating more complicated things in their game. I also don't think its bad when these interactions fail to render correctly. I dont expect every game to look like death stranding, nor do i want them to. I just think its fascinating to examine these things and how different games can approach the same problem with different outcomes and varrying levels of success.

I'm still writting reviews. I promise.

I got sucked into ffxv. I've put in 90 hrs into that game and the review I have written so far is abt 3700 words just for this game uhgghlifdh

Expect it in the next few days.

Edit: ITS DONE! (20221014)

I'm excited for Saturday! I'm attending a tattoo convention and I'm hoping to add to my sleeve. Hopefully I can find someone who can freehand something. I want to ask for some bluebells or pansies. I love pansies. My dad used to grow pansies in his garden and I always thought they were the coolest.

This is twice in a row now that something has broken before a final dungeon on my ps2. Three in total.

First time is my ps2 scratched up disc 1 of my copy of ffvii. Ps2 slims are pretty notorious for this, so there are a few tutorials for a diy fix. I have all the security bits and have some experience taking consoles apart. (i dont think im very good at it. Ive borked about as many as ive fixed lol) basically, the ribbon cable attached to the disc reader will lift and scratch the disc. Hasnt happened since i did the fix so it must have worked. Still, I had to ship some dosen or so discs across the country to get resurfaced. Small price to pay. shrug

Second time 'round, disc 4 of ffviii crapped out on me. Luckily the retro gaming store i bought it from traded me out a working copy for free. It wasnt a disc rot issue. Sometimes discs are just faulty and those issues dont show right away.

Now, the X button on my controller stopped working. Looks like a bit of the gold(?) on the printscreened plastic flaked off. This happened on the last save station in ffv. I took a lunch break and found it broken when I picked it back up off the stand. Luckily i have backups. Side effect of repairing consoles for fun is I end up with duplicates if i actually repair something successfully.

I buy almost everything second hand, so im not surprised when any of this happens. Thats just the nature of the beast. Fate just seems to pick bastard timings for these things.

uuuuugh, I really don't like end bosses in ff games.

They're also formulaic.

I beat I think 2 bosses at the end of ffxiii-2 and thought "there are two bosses left" and I was right. I've played enough of these games to predict them now. I got wrecked at the last boss twice and I'm on the fence if I'm going to finish ffxiii-2. I dunno if I like the characters enough to put in the time to grind out the end of the game. I'm gonna sit on this game for a few days and find out!

Dunno what I'm going to play in the mean time. I will probably figure that out later tonight.

Also, I made more .gifs! Check it out~

sigh I get frustrated playing final fantasy games.

Square Enix does this thing where they rerelease games, or totally remaster games and not bother changing anything. This seems to be the case with their PSP remasters. Maybe they'll throw in a beastiary, or add a post-game quest. Otherwise, not a single Quality of Life feature is ever added to these games like. Then why remaster the game? Especially when it's really easy for a player to fall off the plot and forget/not know where to go next. It's something they sort of fixed in ffii, but won't retroactively fix in ffi.

There's a different problem when it comes to the late 90s ff games. This was the era when a lot of games were trying to sell people hard on official guidebooks and deliberately made a lot of the content either extremely obtuse or downright impossible to find without a guide. Luckily, modern internet makes this practice obsolete but.

I prefer trying to play games blind and occasionally look up a walkthrough as needed. It's really upsetting finding out im missing like one third of the content through no fault of my own. Id rather know about extra cutscenes and quests and choose to skip them than find out about them from an external source when im more than halfway through the game. Sure, i *might* stumble across extra content but when walking is such a time sink id rather not waste time not sure if ill find anything. Ffviii is like this, and ffvii was the same way.

Square also has this habit of almost saying something political w themes abt the military industrial complex, sovereignty, and environmentalism, and then suddenly veering into "help! a wizard burned down our village!" plots. This isn't a criticism I genuinely love this shit.

ff games are almost great. But. There's one major thing that spoils what is otherwise a really fun game. I wonder if this trend stays true for other ff games that I haven't gotten to yet. I hope not.

So far, i am most excited to play ffix and ffvi. Im also excited for ffxv but in a bad way. The game opens with "for fans and first-timers" to which my response is "don't trust that".

Ffxii looks the most aesthetically pleasing, but ive heard not great things about it.

As of right now, I'm really enjoying ffviii.

I just did a cursory google search for Crisis Core to check what year it was released and, holy shit, people actually like this game?? I've only played like 4 hours and the gameplay is like, objectively bad. At least, I think so. So far, in-game cutscenes and cinematic cutscenes are the fun bits of the game.

And also, it seems to be getting a remake for Android and iPhone (sure, i guess) but it's going to have loot boxes for some godforsaken reason. I thought we decided loot boxes are bad (and they are) back in like 2012. And aren't loot boxes illegal in Japan?

What more is that it's going to have episodic releases. This is usually means we get the first episode and then the game dev studio goes under, but Square Enix is so fucking massive it's not going to tank anytime soon. So unless the company itself kills the project, we're going to enjoy plenty of installments of Final Fantasy VII: Ever Crisis. Horray... (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Can we all agree that Square Enix, especially in it's present form, is a fucked up, piece of shit excuse of a gaming company? I encourage anyone to watch Jim Sterling's videos on youtube whenever they talk about Square Enix (there are several from just the past year alone). They do an excellent job highlighting the various issues with Square Enix, especially the blatant abuses and disregard the company has for its fans.

I made my own gif!

I'm so proud of my stupid gif. It took me almost all day. Tha banner is also completely new! It looks so janky aaahahaha!

I want to make more gifs, but before that, I should to replace the placeholder images on the reviews page. I'm going to need to find a few resources for those.

This place is really coming together~ I'm so pleased

Thinking about adding a glossary page. I didn't notice how friggin weird video game terms were until I started blogging about it. We kinda take for granted that ~everyone~ just knows what these words that we use to describe video games mean. Also it would be a fun exercise for me.

I wanna make this site even prettier, but that requires learning and also I'm gonna be baaaad at it. (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Welp. I'll just have to put in the time learning how to edit and make gifs or whatever. We'll see how it goes.

Modern JRPGs are like the anime of videogames...

Hold on. Wait, wait. I have a sensible rationale for this statement i promise.

Any weeb is familiar with the 3 (or five) episode rule. You gotta give an anime like at least 3 episodes before you can decide it's definitely not for you. At around the 3 episode mark, you're past all the intro stuff and into the regular swing of things.

But like... that's weird, right? ¯\_(σ ‸ σ)_/¯

That's a serious time investment just to "try out" a show, and I think modern JRPGs are similar that way. There can be a three or even a five hour time commitment before you get to the part of the game that makes up the bulk of the experience.

I'm playing through ffxiii right now, and I've been keeping track of how long it takes for the game to give me features that are supposed to be staples of JRPGs overall. The most egregious thing so far is the number of hours it took before the game let me freely edit my party - I'll get more into that when I actually finish and review the game.

Contrast that with any JRPG released in the 90s, and most all of them waste no time getting the player into combat, and tutorials are generally done within 20 minutes of starting the game. Sure, all genres have increased in complexity over time (and therefore tend to have longer intros/tutorials), but i am currently of the opinion that triple A JRPGs are the biggest offenders in this regard.

So my goal this year is to try and play through as much of the FF series as I can, minus FF11 and FF14. But, obviously playing only JRPGs and specifically only FF JRPGs get very stale very fast.

So I started playing Spider-Man: Miles Morales and siiiiigh I don't like it. I'm going to review it obv when I'm done with the game but my big takeaway right now is I am reminded why I prefer older titles and RPGs. This isn't a hard and fast rule either, I love the Tomb Raider 2013 series. This game in particular happens to highlight a bunch of things I don't like that tend to crop up in a lot of modern triple A titles.

I'm going to try my best to finish Miles Morales and I'll re-evaluate how I feel about it then. d( ̄◇ ̄)b

I posted a bunch of my Zleda reviews! Hooray~~ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

I wanna figure out how to make dropdown textboxes so these pages don't become absurdly long and easier to navigate.

It's 3 a.m. I'm at work. I've been working on the site on and off between episodes of Sailor Moon. I'm pretty happy with layout and aesthetic for now.

There are sooo many things I wanna post, but I'm just not satisfied with what I've got yet. Really, I just have to put in the time to plan, write, and edit everything. On top of that I've got like 3 essays I wanna write hhhhh pray for meeeee (TдT)

Also, I would rather draw my own assets for like the banner and links and whatnot even tho I don't think I'm very good sjdhcidsl just another thing I need to invest time actually doing (;A;)

Oh, god, of course half the site is broken.

Well, all the new stuff is broken. It all works offline so I don't understand why this is happening. I've hidden all the new content until I figure out how to fix it. (TAT)

Everything works now! It's a server side issue. Some latency between me updating files and the site displaying properly. Takes about an hour. I'll need to remember that for next time.

Welp, I am definitely prettier than your average mayoral candidate website now (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Now to actually, put up some content. I have a single revew now! Still messing around with how I want to format stuff, so it's going to stay one review for a bit.

oooooor not. Link's broken. Coooool

OH it's case sensitive. There we go.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, It's starting to come together I hope. I am very dissatisfied with the current colour scheme.

Uh, I'm going to keep playing around w this main page and then I'll start throwing up more content after I am reasonably statisfied with how this looks. I have to polish all my reviews and articles anyways. Until then, the personal blogging bit is going to stay on the main page babyyyyy

Uughhhughuguhhguuh so may blogs here have such pretty aesthetics (TдT) and im over here struggling like hee hoo emboldened text

So far, there are zero things about videogames here lmaooo it will happen eventually. I have dozens of flash reviews laying around but I want to have a semi-structured website before I start dumping content onto here.

I basically started this blog on a late night whim but I know almost nothing abt web design and coding uguoououguhou

So this is going to look like donkey doo-doo for a good long while. ;A;

I keep thinking about all the websites of all the mayoral candidates I visited during the most recent election in my city. There's one candidate that was weirdly obsessed with "exposing" the (now retired) mayor as a muslim. His whole website was just a blog about how much he didn't like our mayor. The only actually relevant policy info was one post about bike lanes.

The reason I'm bringing this guy up is because my current goal is to make my blog look better than his. It's a goal that feels very far away... TTATT